Monday, June 27, 2016

It's Not the Destination, But the Journey

Last year, just about this time, I was preparing for my first motorcycle trip Sturgis, SD for the world's largest motorcycle rally (there were an estimated one million bikes there). It was a "bucket list" thing.  I was going to be riding from the Dallas area with about five others. I had just purchased my 2015 Harley-Davidson Ultra Limited touring bike and was excited. As I was discussing the ride plans with another person in the group, she was talking about how she likes to ride fast and wanted to cover so much ground in the first day of the two we were taking to make it to Sturgis. I found myself replying, "I'm not riding to Sturgis to get there. For me it is the journey and not the destination."

Rewind the tape back about six years. I am attending a workshop on Mindfulness in Psychotherapy at my professional organization's annual conference. Not sure now why I was drawn to this particular topic, but chalk it up to just being open to new things. In the course of the two hour presentation the presenter stated that if we ever took up mindfulness practice, we would never give it up. I decided to take that challenge and went home with a commitment to do a formal sitting meditation just two minutes a day. I don't think I lasted even a few days. And I didn't give it much thought afterwards.

Now fast forward two years. I am back at the same organization's annual conference (gotta get those CEU's) and this same presenter is again offering a workshop on mindfulness. And she makes the same challenge! So off I go again with a renewed commitment to "follow my breath in and out" for just two minutes a day. But this time I did more than that. I began to devour several books (mostly by Buddhist monks), watch Ted talks by Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn and other's in the Western culture of Psychology (NO! not the cowboy boots and horses type, just in contrast to the Eastern philosophies from which mindfulness emanated), and kept on breathing.

After a time (exactly how long I don't recall), someone commented to me one day that I seemed happier. It was at that moment that I realized that I was gaining some benefit from this mindfulness thing. I had graduated past just sitting and breathing to incorporating mindful living into my lifestyle. I didn't quite put it all together at first, but I was training my brain to pay more attention. And I got to choose what to pay attention to. For instance, driving the same monotonous road to work each day became 20 minutes of pleasure as I began to notice things that were always there, I was just missing them. Usually because I was caught up in the whirling derby of endless thoughts about getting to work, getting my files ready for the day, expressing my frustration with the slow driver in front of me ( I won't say how I expressed that frustration), worrying about meeting a deadline, ruminating about some injustice someone had done to me...I bet you understand. It is an experience common to most all of us who are not 24-hour-a-day inhabitants of a Buddhist monastery.

As I ventured farther into the mindfulness territory, I began to find more and more applications of mindful living to my life experience. Not only did it help me to "slow down and smell the roses," but it helped me become more aware of things I needed to change. Remember that slow driver? One morning he was an old farmer lumbering ahead of me on one of the back roads I traveled each day. I don't tolerate slow very well when I am in the fast mode. But today would be different. As I became aware of my immediate frustration with the situation (in neuroscience we might call this an 'emotional hijacking'), I said to myself, "Self, here is an opportunity to learn patience." So I shifted (not the gears of my truck, the gears of my mind). I took that now familiar deep breath. I turned up the radio a notch, and I noticed the cool breeze coming through the window. Next thing I know, I am just about to the highway and the old farmer is nowhere in sight. He must have turned off somewhere, I just didn't' notice (or care). I was calm. I was content. And, I had nothing bad to confess.

I have plenty of these stories. But I want to get to the point (hope you aren't getting frustrated with my slowness). As I have progressed the last several years with my interest in mindfulness, it has taken a predictable direction. I didn't convert to Buddhism. Instead my interest peaked in the idea that mindfulness concepts and practices could potentially be integrated with my Christianity (after all, why should Buddhist's have all the fun). If mindfulness could increase my moment-by-moment awareness, could I use it to become more aware of God? Isn't Sanctification a journey and one I could be more innately aware of? Could  my experience of prayer, Bible study, fellowship, confession be enhanced in some way by mindfulness?

Hence this blog. It is my shared journey of what I have chosen to call Christmindfulness.
I hope you will ride along with me and invite others. But don't expect me to go too fast. For me it is the journey and not the destination.




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